I Don't Know

Today marks our "could've been" third year.

It just feels weird actually, I don't know how to go on or deal with this day, will I just make myself busy in the kitchen or wallow in sadness for the next twenty four hours? I am truly sorry for what I did exactly nine months ago, and I don't know what can ease or counterpart that sin I just committed. Should I just evaporate to make things go away?

I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Help.