So Here It Goes

Right now, I am as messed up like before - why do I get to meet complicated guys in the first place? I always bump into one getting my time and effort making them boost their ego? Maybe its my subconscious mind speaking right now but I know this will be better in time. That answers why I was single for five years. I thought I was ready.

I have a patience and loyalty of a dog, and literally I felt like a dog, wanting and reaching out for attention. I am old already and I know what I want in life. I thought it was already "it" - but then complications grew worse. I only intended to help but as it turns out I became the bad one. Worse, I was told I even manipulate people. I only suggested and said what is best for the situation, plain and simple.

I have my faults in what happened too, I crossed the boundary and I will regret doing that for a while. Maybe God has a plan for us, it was really not meant to be, maybe not, maybe yes. 

I can't imagine I came back to my old self where I am in the losing end, I gave up so much just to put you up and make you feel confident. I know I will heal and this bitterness inside will go. I wish you all the best in life, until you find yourself.

Charge it to experience - and lesson learned. A lot learned - for now I will enjoy my life as a single guy who will definitely reach for the stars and shine like never before. Listen to me universe, guide me on this one.