Could've

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Everything is clear under the sun, I heard the words right and no further explanation needed.

- Special person said he's into older guys but its clear enough to understand the whole point of discussion over the weekend. I hate the idea that I'm getting older, but I feel like a 13-year old child wanting to become 30. This is very Jennifer Garner of me.

- Special person provided a checklist, in which some I am not (this is enough for me to work on more things in the future in case I encounter the same situation.

- Special person clearly stated that there are some "things" he's interested into, which gave me an idea (just an idea) that I am not the one, and realized too that one of the "things" I'm refering to is more worthy of appreciation. Talk about the self-pity I am having right now for this rarely happens in my positive outlook in life.

Geez. I could've said it, I could've grabbed it - but intuition is right on time, that I am not yet ready. There are a few moments today where I just wish that things can go my way. Only the universe can tell in the future what's in store for me.

It's one hell of a banana boat ride again! More poker-faced moments.


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