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THE WORD 'BRO' and other stories [The PJ Syndrome]

During the past weekend, my marketing/buy and sell skills was developed.

I helped my 1/4 Japanese male friend in selling his Samsung D410 mobile phone thru Friendster Classified Ads and Buy and Sell online. Damn, these things do work, daig pa ang 48-day challenge ni Ricky Reyes sa bilis! [Bernz, pinaglilihian ko na rin ang mga baytakrem mo ;-)]

I recieved an SMS message in less than 24 hours since I posted it online. I got the buyer's message while window-shopping in Urban Outlet found in Robinson's Metro East.

I began to curse this buyer for a while, paano ba naman kasi, 'rancho' yung salesman sa shop na iyun, and I was the only customer during that time, andI was about to make a purchase when my mobile vibrated.

"Available pa ba D410? San location mo 'BRO'?

I replied, told him the unit is still available. I told him my present location.

"Musta condition ng phone BRO? Complete?"

Malamang complete, may keypad, may antenna, wala nga lang SIM Card. Siyempre polite naman ang reply ko.

"BRO, pwede na ba kunin phone ngayon? Saan ka sa Cainta?"

*"Yes, you can get it now. Saan location mo ba?"

"Caloocan"

What?! Walking-distance ha? I told him we're 48 miles away from each other. I told him to meet somewhere, so we decided to meet in Starbucks Tomas Morato. My 1/4 Japanese-y friend hurriedly rushed at the place. During the 20-minute trip, I later realized something in my conversation with the buyer. He called me a 'BRO'

I told my friend about my angst against this word, and how gays and pamintang buo/pa-mhin guys use it in everyday conversation. I later assumed the buyer is gay. I REALLY HATE IT! This is the very same reason why I hate the TV show 'BORA', The Hunks use it all the time during the show. Subukan niyong pakinggan si PJ habang sinasambit niya ang "BRO" sa kapwa niya ka-paminta, nahahalatang kumukulot ng konti, medyo pinong-pino. Nakakayamot, ayaw pa kasi umamin eh salat na salat naman. The funny fishy smell can be transmitted thru TV, di ba?

We arrived earlier than expected, the he-buyer told us to wait for another 30 minutes.

Granted! Eh ang layo nga naman niya kasi sa QC. I asked my friend to bring out the phone for me to examine. Shit, may gasgas sa bandang camera lens.

"How are you going to explain this to him?"

"HIndi gasgas yan, dyan dati nakalagay ang sticker ng "Samsung"

Okay. pwede na. Then he asked me to make a move to the buyer by keeping him company throughout the negotiation: BY CALLING HIM "BRO"!

NO WAY!

"Sige na, para ma-at home siya sa yo"

"Ayoko nga, hindi ko ka-anu ano para tawaging BRO, so paminta!", sabay goosebumps.
After a few minutes, he arrived. I was surprised. He was with a girl, arrived with a Pajero, at in-fairness, he looked good, especially his eyes, very expressive ang arrive. He's not gay, not because he arrived with a girl, he just doesn't smell, yun lang.
Shit, ang sama ko di ba?
After a few chats, he bought the phone, kaliwaan. DONE!


And I never blurted out the damn word. I sticked to my principle: The word BRO is for closet queens. No matter how pamintas/FUBU's [*thanks Bernz, again] call each other as 'BRO', 'DUDE', 'TOL' etcetera, pag may halimuyak at may pitik ang pinkie mo, it'll never cover your gayness! Haaaay!

It's my opinion.

May angal?
*****************************************************************************************
Today, I visited some of my friends [Ayi, Ron, Ali, and AE] at BOUND BOOKS [located somewhere in MORATO]. We brewed something funny about the movie "FENG SHUI". Remember how the people died in the story?


Yung mga kakaibang connections ng Red Horse Beer bottles and everything?

Well, naisip ko lang ang mga posibleng ikakamatay ng mga taong pinanganak sa taon ng:

RAT:
Napagkamalan mong "Nerds" ang Dora Rat Killer at Racumin, kinain mo.

DOG:
Nilapa ng pitbull
Rabies

TIGER:
Kumain ng Tiger Balm/ Suminghot ng Tiger Balm
Kumain ng Lion-Tiger Katol/ Suminghot ng Lion-Tiger Katol

DRAGON:
Lung Cancer kaka-yosi
Nakulong sa nasusunog na bahay
Kumain ng Dragon Katol/ Suminghot ng Dragon Katol

HORSE:
Sa katangahan mo tinadyakan ka ng kabayo sa Tagaytay or sa Baguio, sa sobrang 'horse-play' mo sa tabi ng kabayo.
Nabiktima ng mga 'mola'
Uminom ng Mane N' Tail

PIG/BOAR:
Nasobrahan sa lechon, nagka-alta presyon.
Naupuan ng obese, napisak.
Nadulas habang naglilinis ng babuyan.
Attack of the Wild Boars.
Namatay sa sobrang kababuyan sa katawan.

MONKEY:
AIDS
Ebola Virus
Na-choke sa saging. (Hmmmm..)
Nabangga ng truck ng saging.

RABBIT:
Kumain ng White Rabbit na caramel candy, akala yung chewy variant, nilunok agad, na-choke.
ROOSTER:

Nasaksak sa tupada [actually, ito yung sa movie]

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